Alive & Kicking

I So I'm nearly a week into my farm work and, believe it or not, I haven't screamed once. 

And this isn't a ghostwriter typing, it's actually me and I haven't actually died from fright yet.

I mean, I haven't seen any snakes or spiders yet but I have seen two caterpillars and various snails and that's more than enough wildlife for me so far. 

So what's Mildura like? It's genuinely a lot bigger than I expected it to be! In my mind, I saw a tiny town with nothing to do whereas, in reality, there's actually a fair amount here. You've got your regular Australian fashion stores; Cotton On, Factorie, Dotti and everyone's favourite, cheap and cheerful K-Mart. And there's the usual fast food suspects; McDonalds, Subway, Dominos and various kebab joints to hit once you've visited one of the 4 bar/clubs in the town. 

But in terms of farm work, I'm spending my days pruning and rolling grape vines. It's not hard work but it's about as exciting as spending a Saturday night in by yourself without wifi. We're meant to be moving onto oranges in the next couple of weeks which has piqued my fear that there might be tarantulas in the trees obviously just waiting to jump out and bite me when I reach out to grab an orange. But that's probably me being irrational, let's hope.. 

You can see how impressed I am by farm work below. I'm having a whale of a time. Only 81 days to go!

I Can't Think Of A Worse Profession For You

I had people taking bets on whether I'd even come to Australia when I first announced I was jacking in my job, house and stable lifestyle 6 months ago. Lo and behold, I filled my rucksack and here I am, still alive and just about functioning. However my sunny bubble of a life in Sydney is about to be dramatically popped.

For English backpackers, if you want to stay in Australia for longer than your allocated year, you have to undertake 88 days of work in a rural postcode. This can be agricultural, construction or fruit picking work, all of which sound about as much fun as chopping my leg off with a blunt spoon.

So, somehow, I've ended up booking a flight to Mildura, just west of Melbourne and basically in the middle of nowhere. Sounds fabulous, right? I know you're all super jealous of my adventure right now. Apparently I'm going to be picking citrus fruits and pruning vines.. All whilst on a farm no doubt covered in jumbo sized spiders and poisonous snakes. Sounds just like a spa weekend.

Upon telling one of my friends at home, he commented, 'You're going to die. I can't think of a worse profession for you.' So that bodes well. Another asked me to live blog my traumatic adventures on the farm, which provided another of my amused friends (who has the enjoyment of coming to the farm with me) with the idea of setting up a YouTube channel documenting my hard time in the country declaring, 'We'll make you a YouTube star!'

Am I even a little bit excited for this new experience? Absolutely not. But I'll try my best to not have a panic attack on the first day and end up in the hospital and keep you updated on the experience.

I'm not religious but my god, please all pray for my safety and/or sanity.