I Can't Think Of A Worse Profession For You

I had people taking bets on whether I'd even come to Australia when I first announced I was jacking in my job, house and stable lifestyle 6 months ago. Lo and behold, I filled my rucksack and here I am, still alive and just about functioning. However my sunny bubble of a life in Sydney is about to be dramatically popped.

For English backpackers, if you want to stay in Australia for longer than your allocated year, you have to undertake 88 days of work in a rural postcode. This can be agricultural, construction or fruit picking work, all of which sound about as much fun as chopping my leg off with a blunt spoon.

So, somehow, I've ended up booking a flight to Mildura, just west of Melbourne and basically in the middle of nowhere. Sounds fabulous, right? I know you're all super jealous of my adventure right now. Apparently I'm going to be picking citrus fruits and pruning vines.. All whilst on a farm no doubt covered in jumbo sized spiders and poisonous snakes. Sounds just like a spa weekend.

Upon telling one of my friends at home, he commented, 'You're going to die. I can't think of a worse profession for you.' So that bodes well. Another asked me to live blog my traumatic adventures on the farm, which provided another of my amused friends (who has the enjoyment of coming to the farm with me) with the idea of setting up a YouTube channel documenting my hard time in the country declaring, 'We'll make you a YouTube star!'

Am I even a little bit excited for this new experience? Absolutely not. But I'll try my best to not have a panic attack on the first day and end up in the hospital and keep you updated on the experience.

I'm not religious but my god, please all pray for my safety and/or sanity.